It's Friday. Sex?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
