they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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