You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
