guys are not supposed to queef...right?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
