Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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