Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
