Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
