rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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