ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think my moral compass just broke
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
