I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
