so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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