you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
