You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
