marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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