we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
