If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
