there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
