i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
