she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
