i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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