I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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