I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
