Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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