Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize