You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
