Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize