So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
