He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
