She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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