oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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