everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In other news, I just burned my penis
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
