ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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