He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
