dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
