I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize