Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
