Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
