Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
