Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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