She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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