I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize