I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
