I wish i was in the wii world.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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