at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
