it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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