You work out of a Hotel?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
