Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
