Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
