Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
