Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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