Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
