I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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