I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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