I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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