Welp...herpes.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You were trust falling into bushes
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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