margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Define "chronic" masturbator.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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