she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
