Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
