you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
