Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
