Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize
